Computer use compared with car driving:
The computer user:
would be driving a Ferrari,
on bald tires,
with no insurance,
and only go back and forth to the
supermarket, in first gear.
A casual glance at whats on TV should be enough to convince anybody that we have no business spreading our way of life around the world.
Talk radio is mental midget masturbation.
The easiest way to analize our foreign policy is,
if Canada agrees with us, it's probably good policy.
Marriage - The club of men who sleep with one eye open
When the performance of one's duties alleviates the pain and suffering of others, it's a wonderful thing!
When this performance includes enlightened practice, it is a wonderful and marvelous thing!
When you add tenderness and compassion, it's wonderful, marvelous and often times, a miraculous thing!
I would changes the punishments for the following crimes
First Offenses
Littering - 6 weeks picking up the garbage
Loud Motorcycle - 3 weeks traffic detail with the jack hammer crew
Rude and Obnoxious Driving - 6 months emergency room volunteer
Second Offenses
Littering - 12 weeks cleaning toilets in public buildings
Loud Motorcycle - 18 weeks school crossing guard for elementary schools
Rude and Obnoxious Driving - 1 year delivering meals on wheels
Failure to perform any of the mandated services to the satisfaction of the wardens (chosen for their nasty temperaments) : Summary execution
The wardens, at their discretion, may dictate that signs saying "kick me", "yell at me" or "piss on me" or "I am an idiot" must be
worn during the performance of the above duties.
Third Offense
Summary execution