Contemporary Latin Phrases
Actual Latin Phrases

Carpe Diem:

Seize the day

Carpe Noctum:

Seize the night

Carpin Denium:

There's a fish in my pants

Carpe ovum:

Seize the egg

Cave Canem:

Beware of the dog

Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus:

It is now safe to turn off your computer

Vini, Vidi, Velcro:

I came, I saw, I stuck around

Veni, vidi, Pesci

I came, I saw, I moidered da bum

Veni, vidi, visa

I came, I saw, I shopped

Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur:

Anything is more impressive if you say it in Latin

Expectate litteras meas:

You'll get mail

Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum.

Garbage in, garbage out

Domino vobiscum

The pizza guy is here

Auda similarum ad seattles

They all sound just like Pearl Jam

Sharpei diem

Seize the wrinkled dog

Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus

Remove foil before microwaving

Il guyus nissanem iste ickye

That Nissan guy gives me the creeps

Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum

Better take the nose ring out before the job interview

Motorolus interruptus

Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel

Revelare Pecunia!

Show Me The Money!

Ignoramus microsoftis multa pecunia dat

Yeah, where DO I want to go today?

Sic semper tyrannus

Your dinosaur is ill

No Quid Pro Quo

I'm Sorry, We're All Out of Quid

Cavaeat humanus sic tofu burritus e toga

Beware of the man with a tofu burrito in his toga

Et tu, pluribus unum?

The government just stabbed me in the back!

Semper in excreta sumus solum profundum variat

Always in the shit, it's just the depth that varies

Illegitimo nil carborundum

Don't let the b'stards grind you down

Res ipsa loquitur

Move along. Nothing to see here


From the Life of Brian (via pistonheads)
CENTURION: What's this, then? 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? 'People called Romanes they go the house'?
BRIAN: It-- it says, 'Romans, go home'.
CENTURION: No, it doesn't. What's Latin for 'Roman'? Come on!
BRIAN: Aah!
CENTURION: Come on!
BRIAN: 'R-- Romanus'?
CENTURION: Goes like...?
BRIAN: 'Annus'?
CENTURION: Vocative plural of 'annus' is...?
BRIAN: Eh. 'Anni'?
CENTURION: 'Romani'. 'Eunt'? What is 'eunt'?
BRIAN: 'Go'. Let--
CENTURION: Conjugate the verb 'to go'.
BRIAN: Uh. 'Ire'. Uh, 'eo'. 'Is'. 'It'. 'Imus'. 'Itis'. 'Eunt'.
CENTURION: So 'eunt' is...?
BRIAN: Ah, huh, third person plural, uh, present indicative. Uh, 'they go'.
CENTURION: But 'Romans, go home' is an order, so you must use the...?
BRIAN: The... imperative!
CENTURION: Which is...?
BRIAN: Umm! Oh. Oh. Um, 'i'. 'I'!
CENTURION: How many Romans?
BRIAN: Ah! 'I'-- Plural. Plural. 'Ite'. 'Ite'.
CENTURION: 'Ite'.
BRIAN: Ah. Eh.
CENTURION: 'Domus'?
BRIAN: Eh.
CENTURION: Nominative?
BRIAN: Oh.
CENTURION: 'Go home'? This is motion towards. Isn't it, boy?
BRIAN: Ah. Ah, dative, sir! Ahh! No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! Ah! Oh, the... accusative! Accusative! Ah! 'Domum', sir! 'Ad domum'! Ah! Oooh! Ah!
CENTURION: Except that 'domus' takes the...?
BRIAN: The locative, sir!
CENTURION: Which is...?!
BRIAN: 'Domum'.
CENTURION: 'Domum'.
BRIAN: Aaah! Ah.
CENTURION: 'Um'. Understand?
BRIAN: Yes, sir.
CENTURION: Now, write it out a hundred times.
BRIAN: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
CENTURION: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
BRIAN: Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar and everything, sir!