Generally Bad Ideas

Here is how to make a mess with your blender!

• Fill your blender to the top. Get your video camera. Turn camera on and film blender when you turn it on. Send the video to us, thanks.

• If your going to use the lid, make sure its loose.

• Insert a spatula or spoon into the blender while its blending. Start moving the object down towards the moving blades. Invite your friends over before you do this one. Its a gas.

Want to take a quick trip to the hospital?

• Chop food while your distracted.

• Hold the knife loosely in your hand and wave it around.

• Pick up a knife. Now scratch you nose.

• Please see the canonical guide to blowing things up with your Microwave.

• If its got moving parts, put your hand in the machine while its on.

• If your lucky enough to start a grease fire, put it out with water.

• Don't check to see if your gas flame is on. Keep all the windows open in the kitchen, especailly if you are simmering and there is a godd breeeze!

How not to substitue

• Salt is white, sugar is white, why not switch.

Logic jams

• Cooking for 10 minutes at 500 ° is the same as cooking for 20 minutes at 250°

• Emeril's got two leg and two arms, just like me. So, of course, I should be able to make cooking look as easy as he (and his staff of assitants, researchers and helpers)

Suggestions for this Section are always welcome!

Bad Ideas Hall of Shame

• Red Green

• Dave Barry

• Homer Simpson

• Al Bundy

• Special Tribute is given to All recipients of The Darwin Awards

Honorable Mentions

• Dan Quail